107.3

i havent felt well lately..i am super stressed with school. im writing a 10 pages paper right now..im on page 3. its due tuesday. i havent thought about food or eating. ive barely eaten anything. a few slices of 35 cal bread per day. and the weird thing is that it doesnt even feel weird, like, i havent even noticed. i really dont want to lose any more. i need a period. especially now.

so some totally non weight related life stuff. i lost the v-card friday night.
:]
i was the most giddyest bitch alive all day saturday. i was so happy. it was with that guy ive mentioned that i like. i doubt he likes me tho. the negative nancy side of me thinks no guy has ever liked me, noticed me, acknowledged me, nada. anyywaysss idk it was just great :) he even said something about me having nice abs...ABS?! ME??? haha that was nice to hear considering hes fucking .05% body fat. seriously. hes like 6'3" and 135 lbs. hes THIN as fuck which makes me feel like a fucking hippo. anyways, i thought i said i wouldnt talk about weight lol.

OK but the dilemma is..he used condoms buuut still theres a chance of whatever and i dont get a period ever, like in years, sooo... :/ :/

:/ !!!!!!!!!!!!!

that makes me nervous... im going to take a preggo test someday.

i could probly go on for hours lol.. but this fucking 10 page paper wont write itself!!!! i now hate the black plague and how the people of its time interpretted its meaning ha.

one more thing, though..
i know sometimes i comment on blogs and say like 'stay strong' and 'stop snacking so much!' and ect.
i really dont want to encourage anorexia at ALL. so i feel reallly horrible about sayign shit like that. obviously its unhealthy, and everyone should eat regularly and whatever but i say it in the nicest way possible just to help you achieve your goals.thats all. if youre sane, dont listen to me. dont look upto me for being a waif and starve and puke and run just to look like ME. if you are over wight and just want to be healthy, im all for that, and you want to look slender and whatnot.

but i am not encouraging anorexia and starving yourself .
if you want to hear encouragement and whatever, ill help ya out but DONT BLAME ME IF YOU DIE.
thats what im trying to say.

night girls
xx